the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
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i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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