I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
