I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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