My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize