just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
