Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Your cock deserves a montage
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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