every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
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Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
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I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.