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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.

  Fav 19 4999 1913

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis

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• (619): View more from California

  Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (816): View more from Missouri

  So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Yeeah thank god

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (914): View more from New York

  He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  Do you think county jail has a Groupon?

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.

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