awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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