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• (602): View more from Arizona

  every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  You burned the hair off your arms. Again.

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  It grows back stronger each time.

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.

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• (386): View more from Florida

  make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.

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