that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
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I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..