I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
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The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
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can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.