I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic