omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize