Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
