of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize