he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We are all done wearing pants today
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
