He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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