i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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