I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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