oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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