I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
i believe in u and ur pee
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
