Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
