Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
