I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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