David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
