No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
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I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
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I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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