You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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