come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
