bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
