i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
