you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
this hospital has no fireball
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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