those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
