he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
