it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
