Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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