you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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