Dual....:-)
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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