it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
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I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
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I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
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