I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
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How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
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You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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