Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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