woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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