Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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