Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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