New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
