Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
