she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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