hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
