I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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