I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
