How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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