It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
