3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
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My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
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Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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