can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
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