I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
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Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
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Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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