Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
