You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
