Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
