Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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