Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
