First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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